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From the very beginning, IBAB's members agreed that they didn't want to put much effort into the organization. Accordingly, IBAB's stated mission is "None", and IBAB's complete list of strategic objectives is "None". Finally, just to make sure nothing ever gets done, all the officers are dogs. In fact, about the only reason to join IBAB is to get the cool photo ID card.
It's clear that a group without purpose or goals could also dispense with meetings entirely, because they would all be very short and pretty much the same:
Chair: Woof? (Any old business?)
Member: No.
Chair: Woof? (Any new business?)
Member: No.
Chair: Woof. (Meeting adjourned.)
Although a strict "no meetings" policy sounded very logical, it didn't sit well with a surprising number of bums. Apparently conditioned by lifelong exposure to useless gatherings in other organizations, they expected nothing less from IBAB. So what the heck! An agenda was drafted ("Eat"), and the meeting site selection committee went to work on December 7, 2000.
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The committee spent nearly three months investigating dozens of
potential venues, ranging from the local Hooter's to a world class,
5-star resort hotel. Finally, on February 28, 2001 they
unanimously selected an independent hamburger joint operating out
of a converted house trailer next to a feed store. In their
report, they based their final recommendation on:
The restaurant's proximity to a provocative outdoor sculpture of a real car being smashed by a giant hammer, ... |
| ... the elegant dining area, featuring a lovely condiment bar (with authentic plexiglass sneeze guard) and a self-serve Pepsi dispenser (refills 25 cents), and ... |
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... the bathroom, which still has the bathtub in it, complete with a very nice plastic curtain should you desire a little privacy whilst in the tub. |
All things considered, the meeting itself went fine. It was raining that day, and we were lucky to be inside with hamburgers, friends, and a very simple agenda.
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